I for one do hate autism, It controls my entire family. I have a little brother with autism and everything is based on wat he can handle, i cant take it anymore. My mom litterally tells me she loves him more than me. If thats not a reason to HATE the diesese idk wat is. I cannot communicate with my little brother, i cannot touch him, he doesnt even know i exist, yet my entire world is based around him. I dont think he even has feelings, hes just kind of there. Go ahead and send me and email telling me wat an evil person i am, or mabye try and help me make since of all of thise, ive tried talking to my mom about it, and she could care less about how i feel.
I feel for this kid, I do. In that particular family the autistic child might be doing OK, but the NT kid is clearly suffering. It seems obvious to me he's not precisely suffering because of autism, though.
The first thing I notice is that there's sibling rivalry in that family. Despite what parents say, let's face it, some children are payed more attention to than others. Does it matter that the child who the parents pay most attention to is autistic in this case? What would happen if we were talking about two NT kids in the same situation?
It's clear that the autism matters to BRoBBcins though. He sees his little brother as less deserving of parental attention than himself. That's what hurts. He feels an injustice has been committed. He also feels entitled, as Kassiane put it.
I think it all has to do with the way he views autism, what he's been led to believe. BRoBBcins seems to believe that his little brother is less than human. Why should his parents pay so much attention to his younger sibling then?
I dont think he even has feelings, hes just kind of there.
As long as BRoBBcins fails to accept his little brother as a sentient being, as an equal, and as long as he sees autism in this manner, I'm afraid he will continue to suffer. It doesn't have to be this way, and I say this because not all siblings of autistic children feel this way.
I know a little bit about this, and I know that many of my readers know about this too. My classically autistic son has an older sister. I'm rather proud of the way she views her little brother. She's very loving in the way she approaches him. They get along in much the same way any brother or sister would, and in fact, if you consider that brothers and sisters often don't get along, their relationship is probably better than most.
My step-daughter has asked about autism, why her little brother is autistic and such. We have discussed difference, disability, human equality and acceptance; as best I could. I think this is key. BTW, she recently started seeing her first "boyfriend", who happens to be autistic (OK, "high functioning", but diagnosed and everything). I think she's well equipped to be an individual who not only tolerates difference but embraces it, and yes, I take much of the credit :)
I don't blame BRoBBcins's parents. Who knows why his views have been shaped the way they have. There's a lot of anti-autism propaganda in the media these days. They will even imply that siblings are supposed to feel bad about autism. The other day my wife brought home an information sheet about autism that basically said that. I read it over and thought that the reality described there was totally contrary to the reality in our family.
- My brother or sister is different. (National Autistic Society of the UK)
- Reflections from adult siblings who have a brother or sister with an autism spectrum disorder. (Marty Wyngaarden Krauss, Ph.D. and Marsha Mailick Seltzer, Ph.D.)